Thursday, September 26, 2013

September 27, 1863---Mark Twain surrenders



SEPTEMBER 27, 1863:      

Mark Twain, writing as a War Correspondent, sends a note to his editor describing his daily “battle” with a hotel chambermaid:



I hear the stately tread of that inveterate chambermaid . . . her instincts infallibly impel her to march in here just when I feel least like marching out. I do not know that I have ever begged permission to write "only a few moments longer" - never with my tongue, at any rate, although I may have looked it with my expressive glass eye. But . . . she is a soldier in the army of the household; she knows her duty, and she allows nothing to interfere with its rigid performance. She reminds me of U. S. Grant; she marches in her grand military way to the centre of the room, and comes to an "order arms" with her broom and her slop-bucket; then she bends on me a look of uncompromising determination, and I reluctantly haul down my flag. I abandon my position - I evacuate the premises - I retire in good order - I vamose the ranch. Because that look of hers says in plain, crisp language, "I don't want you here. If you are not gone in two minutes, I propose to move upon your works!" But I bear the chambermaid no animosity.


Twain, a former riverboat pilot, had started the war as a Missouri Confederate, but after only two weeks in a local militia unit he decided to “resign” and go West, where he became an anti-slavery Unionist.